Following the completion of Them Hospital, I was hankering for some more Themey goodness.
To this end I searched my shelves and to my delight discovered a copy of Theme Park World.
Dusting off the cover, I looked at the back of the case and realised I didn’t recognise any of the pictures. Now, I have very clear memories of the brilliance of Theme Park and these weren’t it. So I popped the CD in the drive and despite being nearly 15 years old it managed to load and install straight away. Excellent.
Then I played it.
It was one of the most disappointing experiences of my life. Worse than a Prometheus/The Dark Knight Rises double bill.
It was awful. Despite being essentially the same game, the makers had seemingly set out with the sole goal of making it as unplayable as possible.
So desperate were they to make it more 3D and trendy, that they ignored playability. Everything is too big and clumsy and navigating the park is a nightmare. Trying to figure out how the customers and staff are doing is terribly fiddly and an accidental right click will dismantle rides and features. It looks far, far worse than Theme Hospital, which came out two years prior.
After an incredibly frustrating hour, I felt I had no choice but to quit the game. Forever.
It is no surprise I didn’t recognise any of the pictures on the back, I did exactly the same thing when I first played it.
So if you ever get a hankering for some old fashioned gaming, do not get Theme Park World, it is a horrible mess. Get Theme Park, the original and the best.
Also, the talking question mark never shuts up and is one of the most insufferable characters ever seen in a game.